Kieran Ravenblood Vs The Spiral! (W101 Scott Pilgrim Parody)
by TheLegionOfAnime
Summary: In This Story, Kieran Ravenblood is introduced to the magic school of Ravenwood, and meets a beautiful girl named Morgan TitanGlade. He attempts to date her, until finding out she has "17 evil ex-boyfriends" that want to "kill" him for no reason whatsoever. So he has to beat them up to win the girl of his...dreams? No, but she's really hot. :D
1. How I Got Kidnapped By Gandolf

_One Day, Some time ago, like in 2008 or something..._

I was just being me, in my home, watching TV. But then, I see some glowing coming from out the window. "OH GOD ALIENS" I said as I looked to the window in fear. But then the door blew open, sparkles flying throughout the room, it was just like my little sister's 5th birthday, loud, windy, and most importantly... scary. I stared at the door in fear, for I saw a strange shadowy figure standing there. Then, the one thing I least expected. _**IT WAS GANDOLF**_. In what looks like his pajamas. Great. I know for sure when I see an old man dressed up like this, that there is something wrong. He says to me "Kieran, We Have To Get To Ravenwood Now! You Need To Be Enrolled, And Shown To The Teachers, A-." "HOLD UP!" I yell, "What Is Ravenwood, Who Are You, Why Is An Owl Sitting On Your Shoulder, And **HOW** Do You Know My Name?." He says "Ravenwood Is A Place For Learning The Art Of Magic, I Am Merle Ambrose, This Owl Is Gamma, And I Know Who You Are Because **YOU** Are A Holder Of A Magic Rune Which Is On Your Back Which Gives You The Strength Of Nearly 100 Dragons." Personally, when he barged in like that, I thought he would say "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" considering I had a test the next day. He grasped my shoulder, pointed his staff skyward and then I had felt a strange feeling as my body was seeming to disappear into air. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?" I yelled. He didn't respond. All the sudden, I was in this place that looked like an office. He asked me if I was a boy or a girl. "I'm obviously a boy if you didn't already know that." He then asked what I am wearing. All the sudden, my shirt I saved from Hawaii was gone and replaced with some really sucky and itchy robes, the only good part was the color, considering it was my favorite colors, red and yellow. He then told me to look inside this book with a bunch of questions. Instead of reading the questions, I skipped to the last one and answered that. It asked what my favorite gemstone was. There was Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, Peridot, Jade, Onyx, or Citrine. I chose Ruby out of all them, WEELLLLLLL, I really didn't choose, Ambrose McGandolf ran over and chose for me saying "You're Destined For This School!" After that, he told me to meet him by some place called Golem Court, which was "Just Down The Road." When I walked out of the tower, I heard lots of voices. There was other people! But most of them looked like they had the exact Crap-For-Clothing thing I was having. Either they were standing next to someone in a matching suit as them, or just wearing exactly what some guy across the pond was wearing. Mostly, people just talked about what happened at lunch or what happened at the party they were just at. Basically, this was just like the Courtyard at my REAL school, stupid conversations and stupid people having the stupid conversations. Just from that, I can tell this is going to suck. REALLY. REALLY. BAD.


	2. Moonflame Is Introduced

_I Forgot To Mention, That This Is A Fictional Story About Kieran Ravenblood, Written By Kieran Ravenblood, Being Read By Ambrose, Narrated By Kieran Ravenblood! __Pretty Simple, Right?_  
>I was starting to walk down the road, to the so-called "Golem Court", and then I bumped into my friendstep-cousin, Kieran Moonflame, he's from Avalon, I'm From Grizzleheim, but I was staying in Marleybone with my great-step-godparents grandparents parents, so technically, just some random old people I don't know. But that's none of my business. I started with a nice simple "Hey Man, What's Up?" to Kieran.  
>"Oh, nothing much, I just forgot how to use magic and had to enroll again"<br>"Aww, that sucks, you're stupid"  
>"I'm sorry"<br>"Don't be sorry for stupidity, girls 'LOVE' stupidity!"  
>"Don't be sexist Kieran!"<br>"I'm sorry Kieran!"  
>"It's ok Kieran"<br>"Remember when we saved Zafaria?"  
>"What?"<br>"What's a Zafaria?"  
><strong><em>Oh Yeah, I Forgot, They're Noobs Right Now, They Don't Know What A Zafaria Is, And Probably Don't Want<em>**_ To.__  
><em>They stare at each other blankly, and then I say to Kieran, "We really need nicknames for each other, because one day, when were married, it'll be hard to tell who's wife is talking to who."  
>Kieran nods and says "Alright! I'm Ravunblould and you're Moinfalme! Wait, I meant, You're Ravenblood and I'm Moonflame"<br>I look at him, and nod. I say "OK, well I gotta head to Golem Court now!"


	3. Sauron Invades My Privacy

_Meanwhile, In The Tower, Dark Clouds Loom Over The Tower, As A Man With A Pointy Nose Sits, Awaiting The Hero To Face Him In An Epic Du- Oh, Wrong Game, Sorry.  
>Anyway...<br>_  
>"Hello Young Wizards! Welcome To Ravenwo- What Are Your Names Again?" says Albus Ambrose (McDumbledore)<br>A wizard with short black hair and blue eyes says, "My name is Kane Skulltheif! I'm from Aztec- uhhhhhhhhhhhh Zafaria! Yeah! That PLACE"  
>A short wizard with long red hair and hazel eyes says, "My name is Wolf Shard! I'm from Valencia"<br>I say to the manager of McDumbledore's, "I'm Kieran Ravenblood, I'm from Grizzleheim, but I was staying in Marleybone with my great-step-godparents grandparents parents!"  
>They all stare at me weirdly. Then Lightning strikes the top of the tower, and a shadowy figure is seen in the window, of course we go in, because it's totally safe for kids to go into dark, creepy towers when there is tall, dark, creepy old men in there. Yup. When we walk in, we see a man dressed in black, with long black hair, his eyes are black, everything on him is black except his skin, because it's sparkly like a vampire in <em><strong>COUGH COUGH<strong>_Twilight _**COUGH COUGH**_ **_COUGH_**  
>I say "Oh My God! Validar?!"<br>"N-no! My name is Ma-"  
>"Voldemort!?"<br>"NOO! It's Mal-"  
>"Ganondorf!?"<br>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's-"  
>"Oh! I get it! It's Sauron!"<br>"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **MY NAME IS NOT ANY OF THOSE! IT'S-"  
>Gandolf McAlbusBurger finally finishes walking into the tower, and sneers to the man, "<strong>MALISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRREEEE."<br>**Kane looks up and shouts out, "MOLESTER!?"  
>Wolf shouted out ,in unison with Kane, says, "MOLEST HER!?"<br>Malistare screams and summons two draconians, but just when this happens, Gamma breaks through the window and lands on Merle Merlinson's shoulder, saying "These are not the wizards you are looking for, _**WHOOOOOOOOO**_" while waving his wing across his face.  
>The draconians pick up Malistare with their feet by his arms, and say in unison, "These Are Not The Wizards We Are Looking For." And fly off, through the roof, Malistare, starts screaming at them and says "PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPID ******* ***** ***** **** ****** SO NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU **** **** IN A CASTLE ***** **** MERLE ***** MCALBUSBURGER ***** REPUBLICIAN SOUP!" His swearing gets quieter as the two idiotic draconians fly off into the sky.<br>"I Wonder Who That Lucky Guy He Was Looking For Is" says Wolf.

_The Next Day, Me, Kieran, Wolf, And Kane are eating lunch in the commons..._

"Hey Wolf, did you know I was the one Malistare was looking for?" says Moonflame.  
>Kane throws his (Magic) sandwich at Moonflames face, who burns it lightly and eats it. "Can I have my sandwich back?" says Kane a couple seconds later, after some awkward silence.<br>Moonflame says into Kane's ear "No, I ate it and I shall crap it out later, you know, if you like the taste of crap, that is"  
>"I think I'll pass then" says Kane.<p>

_And then, in about 5 years..._


End file.
